For the last few months, the lonely driver has become the silent driver.
Among many other things, I had lost my drive to keep up to date with the car scene. Like many of you, I have quietly been battling depression.
Mine came to a complete head when I made some very drastic life choices which impacted everything. Work, family and friends. Part of that meant having to focus more on getting my self straight than trying to escape the overwhelming fear and anger that engulfed me.
Much like rust, depression is something you don’t really notice until its too late. Yes, there preventative measures you can take. But just like that little bubble in the paintwork, it’s not that bad and you don’t really have time to sort it right this second.
It seemed like such a middle-class issue, a #firstworldproblem if you will. And in not dealing with the root cause of it, I almost lost everything. Having fallen out of touch with the car scene, I haven’t spoken to many of the friends I made over the course of this year. Going to meets was the highlight of my week, seeing cars that were loved and built to reflect the owner. Not just another factory fresh robot, the UK car scene has character and that is something I have sorely missed over the last few months.
Now cars have been both my vice and my escape for many years, being the cause of great happiness but also the source of much pain, physical and financial. I have no doubt that I will be messing cars for many years no matter how much of an adult I should be. The major difference now is patience. I fully intend to take my time and do things properly.
For those of you who have met me in person, you may recall a purple MK1 MX5 that scraped the floor. Well, my beloved car has been garaged and I am not sure when the wheels will be back on the tarmac. I have many plans and ideas for the car but my pockets right now aren’t deep enough to make them a reality.
My daily driver is becoming something more practical and family orientated and worst of all running standard suspension. The very thought of wheel gap is giving me nightmares, it is just too upsetting going from a car with stance to fitting four fingers between tire and trim.
But as the car season is closed that gives me the chance to regroup and get ready for next year, hoping to see my fellow car nuts again and get out to as many shows as I can.